Saturday, December 2, 2017

To My First Born...

Here we are less than a week away from welcoming your little sister into our crazy crew and I can’t help but remember back to when it was you who we were about to welcome into our lives for the first time.  You have no idea how you have changed my world and you probably never will know or understand that until you have a child of your own one day.  We have come a long way together!  




It is you who I first had to struggle through sleepless nights with.  It is you who would only fall asleep ON me for the first couple of months and wanted nothing to do with any swing, bed, pack n play, crib, etc.  It is you who taught me what it’s like to experience the closest thing possible to God’s Love.  It is you who I struggled with through months of hard and long breastfeeding days, three horrible bouts of mastitis and then finally “getting” it and sharing a bond that no one else in the world would ever have with you.  It is you who helped me relax a little when it came to all those funny (sometimes scary) noises that a newborn makes - you taught me that it was normal, whatever sound you were making, however many hours at night you weren’t sleeping, it was all normal.




It is you who taught me to be a morning person. My body literally can't sleep past 7 a.m....thanks? ;-)




It is you who my ears have grown accustomed to hearing and I still occasionally hear phantom cries and swear it was you, only to find you sound asleep in your bed or playing nicely in your room.




It is you who taught me to pray more than I ever have because I’ve never had such a huge responsibility in my life before.

It is you who showed me what it means to truly have patience, to lose my patience, only to try, try again with more patience the next time. 




It is you who showed me what it means to love someone with every ounce of my being and then continue to love you even more than I ever thought possible.  You showed me what it means to be a mommy, what it means to give up my old life only to gain a new life that is far different but far better and much more full than the life I ever had before.





It is you who has made me want to have more children.  How could I not, when these past few years have been some of the best years of my life.  You bring us more joy than I ever thought possible.






I am sure that Brooklyn will bring changes to our family, both hard and wonderful, that we can’t even begin to understand or see right now.  But I’m also so confident of the wonderful big brother you will be to her.  You have a heart that is so big and so full of love and I can’t wait for her to learn so much from you.  I pray that I will have patience and grace and more patience and grace as we both experience this new change together.  I pray I will remember that my big (almost) 3 year old is still just a THREE year old who hasn't been around for very long, hasn't experienced much of life and is still learning and growing each day.  I pray I will remember that not long ago it was you that we were bringing home from the hospital in the cold crisp January air and even though that sometimes feels like forever ago, it has zoomed by and flashed before my eyes.  I pray that I will never lose sight of who you are just because I have another little person that will mean so much to me as well.  And I mostly pray that you, Brayden, will alway know how treasured and cherished and loved you are.  You will always be my first born and you will always be the one who turned me into a Mommy!  Here’s to our family of three turning to a family of four, four times the joy and love and laughter and craziness than we once experienced before.  I’m so thankful for the little boy God has made you to be!



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