Friday night Kevin and I went out to dinner but it was much later than normal since the traffic coming home from work was so bad for Kevin that night. I remember not really having much of an appetite but rather this strong feeling that I really wanted to be alone with Kevin and enjoy a nice meal together. So, we headed to a nice Italian restaurant close by. The wait for a table was crazy long and Kevin mentioned just going somewhere else but that idea didn't sound so good to me. The thought of sitting at a candlelit table and just enjoying dinner, no matter how long it took, was really what I wanted. Turns out this would be our last meal together before becoming "Mommy and Daddy" :-)
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Later that night Kevin went and got in bed before I did, which never happens unless he is sick. I would have joined him but there were things to be done. I straightened up the living room, loaded some dishes in the dishwasher and just made myself feel good about the front living area of our home. Soon I went and hopped in bed around 11:00 and fell right to sleep. Had I known that tomorrow would be the birth of my son, I would have gone to bed at 8:00.
At 2:30 am I woke up with a super tight belly and what I thought was just a Braxton Hicks contraction. I got up to go to the bathroom and came back to bed and around 2:38 my belly was tightening again but this time it was pretty uncomfortable and I noticed the pain was wrapping around to my back. I started timing it just to be sure an d it last about 1 minute and the next one came on 17 minutes later. This pattern continued for about an hour. Then close to 4:00 am the pain was lasting 1 minute and each contraction was 10 minutes apart. Around 5:00-6:00 am the pain lasted 1 minutes and the contractions jumped around between 10 minutes apart, 6 minutes apart, 8 minutes apart, 5 minutes apart, etc. The only thing I had always read was that the pain should get longer, stronger and have less "breaks" in between so I was trying to watch for that. At 6:00 am I woke Kevin and told him that today could be the day. 15-20 minutes later and BAM the pain felt like it suddenly got way worse out of nowhere. I noticed I was now sweating with each contraction and I didn't like hearing Kevin's voice during that time....sorry babe! ;-) He was great about being close but staying quiet while I experienced each contraction. I sent a text to my parents and Kevin's mom just to give them a heads up and from about 6:30 am things started to move very quickly and became much more intense.
I decided I was going to take a shower to see if the warm water would help me a bit. In a way it did but I still experienced several contractions back to back in the short time I was in there. I remember getting super nauseous and feeling like I might pass out so I hurried the shower along and got out. I threw some clothes on but not before crawling to my dresser because it literally hurt way too much to walk. At this point I think Kevin began to realize that was for real and he better get a move on if he wanted to join me in this process ;-)
We left the house around 7:00 and I remember thinking, this is not what I expected. I did not plan for this pain to happen SO fast and SO much of it all at once. Everything I read talked about how it was very common for first time moms to spend up to 12 hours in the first stage of labor and that thankfully this stage was the easiest in the sense that I would be most comfortable at home. Ummmm NO! I was not comfortable at home, I could not get comfortable anywhere. How could I be in the first stage of labor and experience this much pain....was I just a wimp??? What was going on??? Why was this not going like I had thought?? ("Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." ~Proverbs 19:22)
We live about 45 minutes from our hospital and in a way it was the fastest drive of my life and in another way it was the slowest drive of my life. One thing was for sure, being in the car was my worst point yet. Not being able to move at all and being confined to my seat with a seat belt was miserable! At one point I pulled on the sun visor in desperation for some relief and we heard a loud CRACK. I didn't break it off but definitely loosened it quite a bit ;-)
We finally made it to the hospital and Kevin dropped me off at the front. I was a mess, hair in my face and my shoe fell off as I was getting out of the car so I had to bend down to pick it up which brought on a contraction right at that moment. As I hunched over trying to reach for my shoe and breathe through the pain at the same time I contemplated just laying under the car and letting Kevin drive over me to find a park spot. Just kidding.....but really.
I went inside and not one single person was around except for a sweet young nurse who had just gotten off the elevator. Thank the Lord for her. She immediately rushed a wheel chair over to me and waited with me for those long, but really very short, seconds that Kevin was parking the car. I saw Kevin running inside, she wished us luck and we were off. We got on the elevator (which the doors were broken and kept opening and closing several times before it finally took us up....THAT was annoying) and headed up to the 7th floor. I remember thinking that I was going to be SO mad if I was not able to be admitted yet. I started panicking in my mind as I thought about how we would have to drive all the way back home and continue this whole thing there. Looking back it is kind of funny because clearly that was NOT happening considering what I was experiencing but this being my first baby, I just had no idea if I was just a huge wimp and maybe wasn't really experiencing the worst of it yet.
When we got to labor and delivery Kevin had to answer a few questions and my nurse, Kris (who I absolutely love and seriously considered asking her to be my BFF and come home with me at the end of all of this) wheeled me to my room. She had me put on a gown which was an awful moment. It felt like the biggest struggle of all time to do anything. Literally small tasks seemed like huge mountains ahead of me that I needed to climb.
When I had the gown on I went and laid on the bed and she wanted me to lay on my back to check me and I think that was the first moment I truly cried. Laying on my back hurt SO BAD! I literally could not do it. She found a way to get what she needed without me having to lay completely flat and that's when I heard her say, "Oh, wow! You are just about complete and I can feel baby's head. Did you say this is your first baby? Really?" I remember thinking, "ummm Nurse Kris? Did you just say you could FEEL my child's head? Fully dilated? Doesn't that mean we are super close to pushing which means I will have a baby in my arms very soon?? What?!?!"
At this point the weirdest thing began to happen...my body just started to naturally push, completely on its own. It was an out of body experienced because nothing I could do would make the pushing stop. Kris told me to push if I absolutely needed to but just not with all my might. Soon the wonderful man with the epidural showed up and thank the Lord he did because I needed it very badly. Looking back, I probably could have gone through the pushing without an epidural considering how far I had already come with no pain meds but I don't think I had truly breathed in several hours and I really really REALLLYYY wanted one.
One thing that I haven't mentioned is that I tested positive for the Group B Strep back around 36 weeks. I still needed to get some antibiotics in me as a precaution to protect the baby. For the last month I feared I would have a fast labor and wouldn't have enough time for the meds and now it seemed to be happening. I started to get scared wondering if my sweet boy would come out okay without the full dosage of antibiotics going in me. Kris continued to reassure me that it would be okay and they would monitor him closely afterwards. I tried to believe her and just kept praying, "Please let Brayden be okay" over and over in my mind.
Once the epidural was in I was able to talk, smile, not think about being run over by a car....it was truly wonderful. Around 10:00 am Kris checked me and said we would be pushing very soon. She explained to me how to push and at 10:15 am we got going. I had no idea what I was doing really but Kris and Kevin just kept cheering me on telling me how great I was doing.
At 10:40 am Kevin and I asked her if she could predict when she thought Brayden would be born and she said, "Ohhh I always love trying to guess...I'm going to say 11:00." She said that if I just continued to push the way I had been, we would do it just a few more times and then she would get the doctor. Sure enough around 10:55 she got the doctor and at 11:00 am (good guess Kris) my sweet Brayden Luke was born. He came out screaming. No worries whether or not he could breathe because he was still halfway inside of me and was trying to cry. I remember the doctor laughing and suctioning his mouth as fast as she could because, "this baby has some lungs!!".
Brayden was immediately put on my chest and everything else is kind of a blur. I remember feeling the happiest I have ever felt in my entire life. I remember feeling like I could do that 5 more times if it meant experiencing this one moment. I remember thinking how good and perfect and awesome God is to bring this baby into my life. No way do I deserve him! In the moments that I held Brayden for the first time it's almost as if I had flashbacks from the time I found out I was pregnant back in May all the way up to this moment now. Brayden was in my arms...slippery and slimy and screaming his head off. It was the most perfect, wonderful, beautiful, amazing moment I have ever experienced and I will truly never forget it.
Kevin cut the cord and went over to be with Brayden as he was weighed and measured. He was still screaming and I just laid in bed watching my husband hold Brayden's hand, whisper to him, rub his head, etc. I loved watching him and I think I fell in love with him even more in those moments.
Doctors and nurses continued to keep a close eye on Brayden but at that moment he was doing well. My mommy heart could just explode with love every time time I look at him. I can't believe I actually brought this baby into the world. It's so surreal. I feel so proud of myself as I'm sure all women do after they give birth.
My favorite part about all of this is that Brayden is mine. I don't have to hand him over to someone else at the end of each day. He is all mine and I wouldn't change him or trade him for anything!
