2 Month Update and Brayden's Favorites!

2 months!! WHAT!!  When I think about how baby B is 2 months old part of me knows he's still just a little baby but at the same time I can't believe how fast these 2 months have gone that it makes me a little sad that he's growing up so quickly.  Time really does FLY!

Brayden is such a good baby!  I know I'm biased but he truly is.  He has been sleeping in his crib for about a month now and just within the past 2-3 weeks he is able to put himself to sleep.  Sometimes he will kick his feet in his swaddle, sometimes he tries to break his arms free for a while but he never cries.  He just does his thing and within 10-15 minutes he's out like a light (sometimes sooner if he's super exhausted).  Tonight Kevin said, "Do you realize by the time we get Brayden doing all the things we want him to be doing, we'll probably have another baby and have to start all over?" ummmm don't even go there Mr. Hull!  Getting Brayden to sleep in his crib and self soothe himself to sleep has definitely been one of the most challenging things so far.  It would be so easy for me to just snuggle him up in bed all night long but I know in the long run his crib and his room is the best place for him.  I'm really proud of him!

Brayden is also quite the little smiley guy!

(This is him while we were looking at that little book to the left, which he loves)

I can pretty much get him to smile whenever unless he's already upset and crying about something.  Even after his 2 month shots, he cried in my arms for a few minutes and then as I was buckling him into his carseat he gave me the ever so slightest grin as if to say, "I'm okay Mom!" :-)  His smiles melt my heart and he has a little twinkle in his eyes that will win me over every time!

When he's not smiling, we're getting faces like this

Or this

Brayden has just recently started LOVING chewing and sucking on his fingers.  He has even pulled his paci out, held it in one hand and used the other hand to suck on.  It gets pretty slobbery but it's slobbery goodness :-)

We're working on not sticking them SO far back that we gag.

If you step into our home you'll hear lots of cooing coming from Little B.  He really enjoys talking to me and Kevin and sometimes I think he thinks he's really saying something.  Again, too adorable!  Brayden is also spending more time on his tummy.  He used to love it and would just fall right to sleep but now that he is getting better at holding his head up, he's realizing that being on his tummy is actually work and not just lounge time, so there's lots of screaming.  He hasn't rolled over yet but I think one day soon he'll get mad enough and do that, he seems really close.

B is 12 pounds 10 oz and 24 1/2 inches long.  He's a tall baby boy.  His height is in the 90th percentile and Kevin's keeping his fingers crossed for a basketball star.  When baketball is on tv Brayden is always transfixed....just saying :-))

Brayden LOVES books and being read to.  A few of his favorites are:

Brayden is FINALLY liking his swaddle.  Took him long enough!  I will say, if he's not tired, he won't put up with his swaddle, but if he's nice and sleepy then he doesn't mind it.  In fact there have been nights when he is crying and as soon as I start getting him all swaddled up, he will smile at me and completely calm down.  I tried TONS of swaddles but the one that really seemed to work for him is the Halo SleepSack Swaddle similar to this one:

His arms and belly are nice and cozy but he's able to kick those feet just like he wants.

Just like swaddling was a struggle, finding a paci for Brayden was challenging too.  He just couldn't keep any of them in his mouth until we started using the NUK.  

He still loses it occasionally especially once he falls into a really deep sleep but for the most part he's good at keeping it in his mouth.

Last but not least....the FLUTES, Brayden is all about them!  We have flutes playing quite frequently in our home and in the car.  What can I say, he keeps us well rounded when it comes to music ;-)

Brayden is just the best thing that's happened to me.  I sometimes can't imagine loving him anymore than I already do.  It's definitely a love like no other!  Here's to my big 2 monther!

One Month Has Come and Gone...

One month of cuddling.

One month full of kisses.

One month of pulling all nighters together.

One month since we welcomed this precious baby into the world and into our lives.  He has certainly changed things for the better in so many ways.  It's only been 28 days with a baby in the house yet I can't seem to remember what life was like without him.

I know I showered and slept more often.  I went out to eat A LOT more and left the house to run errands more frequently.  I thought about myself much more and worried about trivial things too often.  I cleaned the house more and was always caught up on my favorite tv shows.  I saw my friends more and planned weekend activities much easier.

I also know I was missing a part of my heart that only this little guy could fill.  I didn't get near as many snuggles as I do now and my arms were so very empty all of the time.  My thoughts have now changed from all about me to all about him.  My trivial worries have turned into worries regarding this tiny little helpless human that needs me.  All of the time.

Some might say my "life" is over but really it has just begun.  It's only been one month with this angel but I daydream about the days, weeks, months and years to come.  I look forward to the future with the son that God has blessed me with.  I feel myself transforming into a different person in so many ways that can only happen when becoming a mother.  I am so very grateful for my sweet Brayden Luke and I thank God each day for entrusting me to be his mommy while he is on this earth.  What a huge blessing and honor to know God wanted ME to love on this little boy and call him my own.  I pray he grows in the Lord always.

Happy 1 Month little man!  I love you more than words can even describe!

The Birth Story of Brayden Luke

Looking back now, Friday was when I experienced my first signs whatsoever that I might be possibly bringing my sweet baby boy into the world soon.  I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions for about the last two months off and on.  They were never painful but definitely noticeable especially after a day teaching four and five year olds.  But on this day I noticed that when my stomach would tighten it wasn't just noticeable but rather it brought on a few moments of tension.  It was almost as if I had the wind knocked out of me for a split second and I needed to catch my breath a bit.  I also experienced the most energy I could remember in about seven days.  I was exhausted all week long and didn't want to do anything except lay on the couch.  It almost felt like I was coming down with some illness.  Friday was different though.  I got up, showered, got ready and spent the day with my mom having lunch and shopping.  I had this huge urge to shop for baskets so I could organize some things at home.  Once I started thinking about the baskets I started thinking how our bedroom still needed to be painted, oh and our bathroom too.  Well and if we were going to do all of that soon I really wanted to look for a new comforter for the bed to match the new colors.  Y'all my dreams, two days before my due date, were out of hand ;-)  I ended up satisfying my desires by buying a few good baskets at Ross and got to work on some simple projects once I got home that afternoon.

Friday night Kevin and I went out to dinner but it was much later than normal since the traffic coming home from work was so bad for Kevin that night.  I remember not really having much of an appetite but rather this strong feeling that I really wanted to be alone with Kevin and enjoy a nice meal together.  So, we headed to a nice Italian restaurant close by.  The wait for a table was crazy long and Kevin mentioned just going somewhere else but that idea didn't sound so good to me.  The thought of sitting at a candlelit table and just enjoying dinner, no matter how long it took, was really what I wanted.  Turns out this would be our last meal together before becoming "Mommy and Daddy" :-)

Later that night Kevin went and got in bed before I did, which never happens unless he is sick.  I would have joined him but there were things to be done.  I straightened up the living room, loaded some dishes in the dishwasher and just made myself feel good about the front living area of our home.  Soon I went and hopped in bed around 11:00 and fell right to sleep.  Had I known that tomorrow would be the birth of my son, I would have gone to bed at 8:00.

At 2:30 am I woke up with a super tight belly and what I thought was just a Braxton Hicks contraction.  I got up to go to the bathroom and came back to bed and around 2:38 my belly was tightening again but this time it was pretty uncomfortable and I noticed the pain was wrapping around to my back.  I started timing it just to be sure an d it last about 1 minute and the next one came on 17 minutes later.  This pattern continued for about an hour.  Then close to 4:00 am the pain was lasting 1 minute and each contraction was 10 minutes apart.  Around 5:00-6:00 am the pain lasted 1 minutes and the contractions jumped around between 10 minutes apart, 6 minutes apart, 8 minutes apart, 5 minutes apart, etc.  The only thing I had always read was that the pain should get longer, stronger and have less "breaks" in between so I was trying to watch for that.  At 6:00 am I woke Kevin and told him that today could be the day.  15-20 minutes later and BAM the pain felt like it suddenly got way worse out of nowhere. I noticed I was now sweating with each contraction and I didn't like hearing Kevin's voice during that time....sorry babe!  ;-)  He was great about being close but staying quiet while I experienced each contraction.  I sent a text to my parents and Kevin's mom just to give them a heads up and from about 6:30 am things started to move very quickly and became much more intense.

I decided I was going to take a shower to see if the warm water would help me a bit.  In a way it did but I still experienced several contractions back to back in the short time I was in there.  I remember getting super nauseous and feeling like I might pass out so I hurried the shower along and got out.  I threw some clothes on but not before crawling to my dresser because it literally hurt way too much to walk.  At this point I think Kevin began to realize that was for real and he better get a move on if he wanted to join me in this process ;-)

We left the house around 7:00 and I remember thinking, this is not what I expected.  I did not plan for this pain to happen SO fast and SO much of it all at once.  Everything I read talked about how it was very common for first time moms to spend up to 12 hours in the first stage of labor and that thankfully this stage was the easiest in the sense that I would be most comfortable at home.  Ummmm NO!  I was not comfortable at home, I could  not get comfortable anywhere.  How could I be in the first stage of labor and experience this much pain....was I just a wimp???  What was going on???  Why was this not going like I had thought?? ("Many are the plans in a person's heart but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." ~Proverbs 19:22)

We live about 45 minutes from our hospital and in a way it was the fastest drive of my life and in another way it was the slowest drive of my life.  One thing was for sure, being in the car was my worst point yet.  Not being able to move at all and being confined to my seat with a seat belt was miserable!  At one point I pulled on the sun visor in desperation for some relief and we heard a loud CRACK.  I didn't break it off but definitely loosened it quite a bit ;-)

We finally made it to the hospital and Kevin dropped me off at the front.  I was a mess, hair in my face and my shoe fell off as I was getting out of the car so I had to bend down to pick it up which brought on a contraction right at that moment.  As I hunched over trying to reach for my shoe and breathe through the pain at the same time I contemplated just laying under the car and letting Kevin drive over me to find a park spot.  Just kidding.....but really.

I went inside and not one single person was around except for a sweet young nurse who had just gotten off the elevator.  Thank the Lord for her.  She immediately rushed a wheel chair over to me and waited with me for those long, but really very short, seconds that Kevin was parking the car.  I saw Kevin running inside, she wished us luck and we were off.  We got on the elevator (which the doors were broken and kept opening and closing several times before it finally took us up....THAT was annoying) and headed up to the 7th floor.  I remember thinking that I was going to be SO mad if I was not able to be admitted yet.  I started panicking in my mind as I thought about how we would have to drive all the way back home and continue this whole thing there.  Looking back it is kind of funny because clearly that was NOT happening considering what I was experiencing but this being my first baby, I just had no idea if I was just a huge wimp and maybe wasn't really experiencing the worst of it yet.

When we got to labor and delivery Kevin had to answer a few questions and my nurse, Kris (who I absolutely love and seriously considered asking her to be my BFF and come home with me at the end of all of this) wheeled me to my room.  She had me put on a gown which was an awful moment.  It felt like the biggest struggle of all time to do anything.  Literally small tasks seemed like huge mountains ahead of me that I needed to climb.

When I had the gown on I went and laid on the bed and she wanted me to lay on my back to check me and I think that was the first moment I truly cried.  Laying on my back hurt SO BAD!  I literally could not do it.  She found a way to get what she needed without me having to lay completely flat and that's when I heard her say, "Oh, wow!  You are just about complete and I can feel baby's head.  Did you say this is your first baby?  Really?"  I remember thinking, "ummm Nurse Kris?  Did you just say you could FEEL my child's head?  Fully dilated?  Doesn't that mean we are super close to pushing which means I will have a baby in my arms very soon??  What?!?!"

At this point the weirdest thing began to happen...my body just started to naturally push, completely on its own.  It was an out of body experienced because nothing I could do would make the pushing stop.  Kris told me to push if I absolutely needed to but just not with all my might.  Soon the wonderful man with the epidural showed up and thank the Lord he did because I needed it very badly.  Looking back, I probably could have gone through the pushing without an epidural considering how far I had already come with no pain meds but I don't think I had truly breathed in several hours and I really really REALLLYYY wanted one.

One thing that I haven't mentioned is that I tested positive for the Group B Strep back around 36 weeks.  I still needed to get some antibiotics in me as a precaution to protect the baby.  For the last month I feared I would have a fast labor and wouldn't have enough time for the meds and now it seemed to be happening.  I started to get scared wondering if my sweet boy would come out okay without the full dosage of antibiotics going in me.  Kris continued to reassure me that it would be okay and they would monitor him closely afterwards.  I tried to believe her and just kept praying, "Please let Brayden be okay" over and over in my mind.

Once the epidural was in I was able to talk, smile, not think about being run over by a car....it was truly wonderful.  Around 10:00 am Kris checked me and said we would be pushing very soon.  She explained to me how to push and at 10:15 am we got going.  I had no idea what I was doing really but Kris and Kevin just kept cheering me on telling me how great I was doing.

At 10:40 am Kevin and I asked her if she could predict when she thought Brayden would be born and she said, "Ohhh I always love trying to guess...I'm going to say 11:00."  She said that if I just continued to push the way I had been, we would do it just a few more times and then she would get the doctor.  Sure enough around 10:55 she got the doctor and at 11:00 am (good guess Kris) my sweet Brayden Luke was born.  He came out screaming.  No worries whether or not he could breathe because he was still halfway inside of me and was trying to cry.  I remember the doctor laughing and suctioning his mouth as fast as she could because, "this baby has some lungs!!".

 Brayden was immediately put on my chest and everything else is kind of a blur.  I remember feeling the happiest I have ever felt in my entire life.  I remember feeling like I could do that 5 more times if it meant experiencing this one moment.  I remember thinking how good and perfect and awesome God is to bring this baby into my life.  No way do I deserve him!  In the moments that I held Brayden for the first time it's almost as if I had flashbacks from the time I found out I was pregnant back in May all the way up to this moment now.  Brayden was in my arms...slippery and slimy and screaming his head off.  It was the most perfect, wonderful, beautiful, amazing moment I have ever experienced and I will truly never forget it.

Kevin cut the cord and went over to be with Brayden as he was weighed and measured.  He was still screaming and I just laid in bed watching my husband hold Brayden's hand, whisper to him, rub his head, etc.  I loved watching him and I think I fell in love with him even more in those moments.

Doctors and nurses continued to keep a close eye on Brayden but at that moment he was doing well.  My mommy heart could just explode with love every time time I look at him.  I can't believe I actually brought this baby into the world.  It's so surreal.  I feel so proud of myself as I'm sure all women do after they give birth.

My favorite part about all of this is that Brayden is mine.  I don't have to hand him over to someone else at the end of each day.  He is all mine and I wouldn't change him or trade him for anything!

The final days, The final feelings, The final moments before becoming a Mommy

3 days away from my due date and to say there are a few emotions running through me, is quite an understatement.  It is the most surreal feeling in the world to know that in a matter of days I will no longer just be a wife, teacher, daughter, friend, but also a Mother.  I have said a few times recently that I almost feel in denial that this little guy is really going to come out of me.  Kevin and I (and the rest of our families) have been talking about this little person for so long: dreaming what his personality will be like, who he will look like, what it will be like to have a baby BOY around, etc.  It is unreal that the moment we've been waiting for is now finally here.

There's really just no way to describe the emotions that are felt in the months of pregnancy and especially the days leading up to giving birth.  I think it is so amazing the way God works through the whole process.  I truly believe something inside of you changes the moment you find out you are pregnant and by the end of the pregnancy God has a special way of making you READY for what is to come.  Obviously I'm still nervous and the unknown is a scary thing but considering I'm going to be pushing a tiny human out of me in a few days, I'm extremely calm.  If you know me you know I'm a fairly anxious person, unfortunately.  I do things to try to manage my anxiety but if I allow myself to dwell on unpleasant thoughts it can definitely get out of hand.  However right now I know God is truly with me in these last few days, keeping me calm, keeping me sane, guiding my thoughts in the right direction. And lets give an AMEN to modern medicine and the fact that if and when I can't take the pain anymore, I've got options people.  Ohhhh yes!!

One song that I've been hearing a lot lately is a song called "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel Music.  This song has been speaking to me for months now.  There is a specific part that I find especially appropriate for any situation that might seem frightening or overwhelming:

"You make me brave, You make me brave

You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.

You make me brave, You make me brave

No fear can hinder now the love that made a way."

You can listen to the song HERE

Thank goodness I have a Father in in Heaven who knows my every thought, every fear, every worry, every emotion and goes with me each and every step of my life.  He'll be with me on the day Brayden is born and the days following.  If that's not encouraging I don't know what is.

"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalms 32:7

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified...for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." -Isaiah 40:29, 31a

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." -Psalm 55:22

~Leah~

5 Weeks Until Mommyhood

Hello Blog World!  It's nice to be on board.  I've thought about starting this blog for a while...well for about the past 8 months.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant I knew I needed to start documenting things going on in my life.  I kept putting it off: wait until 2nd trimester, wait until I find out the gender, wait until 3rd trimester, etc.  Now here I am 5 weeks from my due date and a lot seems to be happening, so what better time than now?! :-)  My main purpose of this blog is to document my first year being a mommy.  Who knows if I'll be good at blogging and keep it up but I thought it might be fun to make it a whole year and look back on everything that went on and see how my husband and I have changed through the wonderful miracle of our little boy.

Obviously the first year will be all about:

This

and not this...right???

....Kidding....

It's crazy to think that in 5 short weeks my baby boy will be here.  Forever.  Always.  It's such a surreal feeling.  I've truly always wanted to be a mother and the fact that it is so close is just amazing to me.  I've watched so many other parent's children over the years through nanny jobs, weekend babysitting, VBS, after school care...the list goes on and on.  It's going to be super special changing a diaper and knowing the cute little bum is MY baby's.  Rocking and swaying MY baby to sleep.  Fixin' up meals and knowing it's MY little guy's belly I'm going to be feeding.  I love knowing when I bring him home, he is mine and he is here to stay.

5 weeks people...let the count down begin!